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what NOT to tell your inner child

11/11/2021

1 Comment

 
A young Japanese American girl, about 2 years old, with her grandfather.
Me and my grandpa in the early '80s

A recent exercise I did had me find a childhood picture and reflect on my belovedness.

Whether that sounds "out-there" to you or not, I bet you can relate to this...

There's a difference between how we talk to ourselves and how we talk to our kids (when we're at our best, that is!).

If you pay attention, there probably times you're talking to yourself in a way you never would to a friend or your child.

"I can't believe you forgot - what an idiot"

"Late again?! What are they going to think of you?"

"There you go again...why haven't you learned yet?"


These examples practically flew out of my fingertips and into the keyboard without trying - these self-criticisms are sadly very easy to think of.

My inner judge is always lurking in a corner to berate me and try to make me do better through shame and intimidation.

But when I look at my childhood picture, these are the last kinds of things I'd want to say to that little girl.

What if we could accept ourselves, love ourselves, delight in ourselves the way we do with our kids? 

What if I could tell myself kinder things, things that will actually help me grow instead of get frantic with fear?

"It's okay to be human."

"This could have happen to anyone...give yourself grace."


And from my fantastic client:
"You don’t need to be perfect. Sometimes things are really hard and I see how hard you’re trying."

(That one makes me a little emotional!)

The girl in the picture deserves loving, not judging, words.

 Your turn! 
What's something you've said to yourself this week that you'd never say to your child?

What's something kind and true you can say instead?
​
Let me know here

​To saying kind and true things to ourselves,
Picture
Charissa Pomrehn
Self Care Life Coach for Moms and Nonbinary Parents

Brave Self Care
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