1. Start by listening to what you want. 

When I got quiet, I realized I was itchy - terribly, desperately itchy - for time alone. Something was going to happen if I didn't get some solitude, and it wasn't gonna be pretty.

Maybe you realize there's something else that arises instead - maybe you want time with friends, time to write, time to work on a project in a focused way. That's great. Use that primary "want" to build your time away.

Seem daunting? Check out these 6 ways to figure out what you want.
 

2. Be intentional about your retreat location. 

A hotel might give you the anonymity and access to cool cafes you crave. An AirBnB could let you check out a new town with the comfort of being able to make yourself a grilled cheese at 10:00pm. A friend or family member's home might be cost-conscious and cozy.

I ended up house- and dog-sitting for my aunt and uncle while they were out of town. While this came with a few responsibilities, I loved being able to browse their book collection and drink their tea.

If an overnight trip isn't in the cards, is there a friend's home, quiet corner of the library, or park that could be your sanctuary for a shorter time?


3. Make a 'menu'.

A wise friend told me that her worst retreats were ones where she

1. tried to follow too many people's advice about how to take a personal retreat OR
2. spent most of the time watching Netflix and movies
   
   

Her best retreats were ones where she went in with some ideas for what she could do, then let herself choose from that menu based on what she needed in the moment.

Here are some of the things that were on my menu. Very thankful for my peer coach for working with my to build this list!

• Make a sugar scrub
• Take a bath
• Take a nap
• Walk on the beach
• Get a restaurant meal to-go
• Massage ball
• Spending some time free-writing - what am I really thinking and feeling?
• Call a friend

 
4. Give yourself permission to sometimes feel scattered, restless, or uncomfortable.

If you're like me and most folks reading this, time alone to do whatever you want - even though you've been dreaming about it for months - might actually feel really weird.

Your brain might go in a bunch of directions. Should I do this first? What about this? Or what about this? I've got to make the most of this!

Take the pressure off yourself to know how to "do" a personal retreat perfectly. How could you know!?

If you feel restless or clumsy, know that you're in a process of learning how to attend to your own needs after a long slog of attending to others'

It's okay. You're okay. Take a look at your menu and just pick one next thing.