 elidr via Flickr If you've been around the Brave Self Care community a while, you might know how integral my daily walk is to my self care routine. It's free, it energizes me, and takes barely any willpower since I've made it a habit. HOWEVER, this happy habit is contingent on my kids being in school. I drop them off, I go for the walk. When they're on break, all bets are off. Knowing that summer is around the corner, I've been thinking about ways to keep stewarding my physical health, especially as I enter third trimester(!). I took prenatal yoga classes in my first pregnancy and LOVED them, and was curious to try them again. Today I'm sharing my easy, 27-step guide to getting to yoga.  leegreen12 via Pixabay 1) Vision for your ideal summer exercise plan. 2) Remember how amazing it felt to go to yoga, years ago. 3) Google yoga classes near your home. 4) Because it's too hard to commit to a studio sight unseen, ask for recommendations on your neighborhood parent group on FB. 5) See several moms recommend a studio about a mile away. Nice! 6) Check out their website. 7) Let your web browser get closed by your kids, or lost among the 20 other tabs you have open. 8) Repeat steps 6-7 over the course of two and a half weeks. 9) Mull over whether to buy a five-class pass since it's such a good deal and might force you to go at least five times before your baby comes. 10) Keep thinking about it, keeping the tab to purchase said five-class pass open in your browser a few days. 11) Repeat step 7 a few times. 12) Put it in your calendar. If it's in your calendar, you'll go, right? 13) Tell your partner - you're going to go to yoga. You've made up your mind. It's gonna happen. Next Wednesday. 14) Next Wednesday, text a friend to see if she wants to join. Darn, she can't. 15) Decide you're too tired to go. 16) Decide that buying a five-class pass is too much pressure, even if it's a good deal. Commit to just trying it ONE TIME. 17) Next week, text two more friends for moral support. This time, you really are going to go. They cheer you on. 18) Remind your partner - it's yoga night. For real this time. 19) Decide right before class that it'd be a great time to cook chicken katsu for the first time. Yes, it requires 4 different prep dishes to marinate and dredge the chicken cutlets (in flour, egg, then panko), but wouldn't it be nice to have dinner ready for the family before you go? 20) Eat super fast. ALWAYS a good idea to have a really rushed meal before practicing yoga. Bonus points if you're kinda stressed, too. 21) Quickly change into a tank top and leggings, hoping you don't smell like fried chicken. 22) Leave later for class than you wanted to. This will only make the relaxation that much deeper once you're in class. 23) Miraculously find a parking spot a block and a half away. 24) You made it! 25) Pay for class, nervously unroll your mat, get the blankets/blocks/bolsters everyone else has by their mats, and wait for the instructor to arrive. 26) Have an AMAZING class. Feel like a goddess who intuitively knows just how far to stretch to the right and left. Feel complete freedom to move your upper body in circles while on all fours. Imagine the mysterious universe unfolding inside you as the instructor suggests. Cringe only slightly when she uses the phrase, "soft vaginal walls" to describe the state of being you are aiming for. 27) Class is over. Feel soooo gooood. Promise yourself you'll do it again soon.  Post-yoga shine If you think self care comes easy for me because I'm a self care coach, it doesn't! I think precisely BECAUSE this is an area that's not a natural strength, I'm able to relate to others' struggles and offer compassionate support.
Where can I support you this week? Comment below and let me be one of the dozen steps it might take to get you moving in the right direction!
0 Comments
 Jv Garcia via Unsplash Keep the house clean. Dress your kids well. Don't waste your education. Be ambitious. Be on time. Don't 'let yourself go'. Bounce back to your pre-pregnancy weight. Buy organic. Cook from scratch. Eat dinner together. Don't give too much screen time. Volunteer at school. Do crafts together. Don't live in yoga pants. (But make time for yoga.) Enjoy it while it lasts! They grow up so quickly! WHEW. Let's face it. There's a lot of pressure on moms. The images you see online don't help. Well-meaning 'advice' from strangers and family doesn't help, either. But today I'm here not to talk about pressure that comes from others, but the pressure we put on ourselves. Feeling the pressureA mom I coached for the first time told me, “I feel like I have to fight through every day, like every day is a race”. Her task lists at home and at work overloaded her. She felt she had taken on too much, yet didn’t feel the freedom to take anything off her plate. "If this pace continues," she told me, "something bad will happen." And on top of that was pressure she had put on herself. When our commitments harm, not helpOne commitment this mom had made to herself was to exclusively breastfeed her daughter for one year. It was something she’d done for her first two kids and was determined to do for her third. The thing was - it wasn't easy. Committing to feeding her baby only breast milk meant painful pumping sessions, interrupted work days, and an incredible amount of stress over whether her daughter had enough to eat. As she sat with me, tears began to run down her cheeks. “I can’t give her formula, I just can’t. But I’m so DONE with pumping.” “What would it mean to you if you gave your daughter formula?” I asked. “That I failed her. I know - that sounds crazy, and I would NEVER say that to any of my friends. But I really feel that way.” By this time, even bigger streams of tears were falling as she dabbed her face with a tissue. This mom loved her kids. They were clothed, fed, and safe. She was doing the best she could. And yet, because of the pressure she'd put on herself, she felt like she was on the brink of failure. Have you ever felt this way? Without knowing it, you may have an expectation of yourself that is setting you up for failure. Finding freedomTwo weeks later, this mom of three and I checked in. “I bought formula,” she told me. What?! I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "Oh my gosh!" I said, "Tell me more." “One day, I picked her up from daycare. Her teacher told me they didn’t have enough milk and that she was hungry. So they fed her a bottle of water. She was fine. But I realized I was making it all about me, not about her. It was about my own pride! My baby doesn’t care. It’s about her own sustenance!” My client believed that a choice to relieve her stress and care for her daughter in a way she hadn’t expected would mean failing as a parent. Then truth - in the form of her daughter drinking a bottle of water - spoke to her! She realized she COULD make a choice to give herself some breathing room - and still be a great parent to her daughter. She saw the false dichotomy of {breastfeeding = good mom} and {formula feeding = failure} for what it was: A LIE. She was a good mom who pumped and used formula as needed. She dropped a canister of formula off at daycare and breathed a sigh of relief. Your turnIs there an area of life where you're disappointed in yourself? A place where you're feeling stress? I wonder whether this mom's story can help you. Here's what I learned from her. Step 1: Observe where you feel like you're failing. Maybe it's being on time for school, looking put-together, or serving your kids healthy meals and snacks. Take a few days to look for where you consistently have a sense of feeling bad, avoidance, or even dread. Step 2: Articulate the expectation you've put on yourself that's causing the stress. It's incredible what we expect of ourselves that we haven't ever put into words! For the mama above, our session allowed her to articulate, "Feeding my daughter formula would mean that I failed her." Step 3: Let truth speak into the expectation you have of yourself. Sit with that expectation for a minute or two. Does anything sound off about it? Is it something you'd say to a friend? What might be the truer alternative to what you believe? Jana E., a mom in one of my Facebook groups, shares: "Keeping the house cleaned/organized [is where I put undue pressure on myself]. I felt like because I was a stay at home mom I should be able to keep the house nearly spotless. The truth is I can’t!" (Did you catch that? In three sentences, Jana went through all three of the steps above!) My heart for youMaybe, through the steps above, you'll find a broader definition of what it means to be a 'good mom'.
Maybe you'll find a false dichotomy staring you in the face. Maybe, just maybe, you'll find that making a choice to make life less stressful for yourself will still allow you to be the kind of woman you'd like to be: present, loving, and bringing all of what she has to the world around her. |
Find time and energy for yourself. My best secrets, straight to your inbox:
popular posts
Why my client committed to 'bra research' (and you should, too)
Screw staying hydrated. Feel your feelings.
6 Ways to Figure Out What You Want
Are you setting yourself up for failure?
Preschool Drop-Off in 17 Easy Steps
What's the Difference Between Coaching & Counseling?
How to Avoid Your Monster Self
Don't just #treatyoself, invest in joy
Archives
March 2022
|
