Ever wonder when it's your turn to take a break?
I clearly remember becoming a mother. There was so much my son needed from me, all day, every day. My partner was incredibly supportive and even had a flexible schedule, but I felt overtaken by breastfeeding, diaper changes, and figuring out how to help our son sleep.
Even if you're past the baby stage, you might still feel overtaken by all that "being mom" requires of you. That's why I specifically love to coach moms! Here are four ways being coached is a break from mom life (that actually makes you a better parent):
1) You get to choose.
There’s a lot in motherhood you don’t get to pick. Just for starters, your child’s gender, temperament, and interests. The quality of schools in your neighborhood, the sick leave policy at work, and the cost of childcare. And even whether or not your son will eat meatballs for dinner. (He liked them last week but tonight? Nice try, Mom.)
My clients choose exactly what they want to work on, based on what is meaningful to them. They choose what to focus on, and we spend the the coaching journey exploring exactly what this change would mean to them, what is preventing them from moving forward, and how to move past the barriers.
2) You get someone who sees you.
The first time I worked with a coach, I chose to improve an area I’d been lax in (and frankly, feeling guilty about). My coach observed, “I saw you close your eyes and lean back in your chair,” and showed me my squinched eyes and posture of defeat. Just by observing my nonverbal communication, she could tell this was a hard goal for me to make!
My coach saw me, and that helped me understand how I was really feeling.
I choose to serve moms because I clearly remember a time when I felt invisible to the world. I was doing the most important work I would ever do - raising my son - and yet, without a job title, I felt like others saw me as lesser. I am here to see you - your ups, downs, and your heart.
3) You get a cheerleader.
From the moment you met her, you’ve been your child’s #1 fan. You cheered her on when she first rolled over, started to crawl, and took her first steps. But who is noticing you? Who is witnessing the new things you are doing and cheering you on from the sidelines?
If you decide that working together is the next right step for you, I get that privilege! I love to celebrate my clients’ wins. Whether it’s getting to bed earlier, gathering the courage to ask your spouse for support, or taking a risk to invest in your career...I am there to celebrate your every success and support you even when things don’t go as planned.
4) You get grown up conversation.
Ever tried to get to know another mom at the playground? Every other sentence becomes: “Honey, we don’t throw wood chips!”..."Sweetie, wood chips stay on the ground.”..."HEY! What did I JUST say?!?” (purely hypothetical example ;). Sometimes it feels impossible to have a real conversation.
Being coached is like guaranteeing a meaningful, adult conversation every week. When I worked with my coach, I looked forward to our sessions all week. I adored and cared about her, but the freedom to talk only about myself (and know that that was the point!) was SO lovely. I loved being able to go deep in conversation, sharing my heart uninterrupted. And now, it's my joy to offer that grown up conversation to others.
Motherhood is stressful. Unlike a Netflix binge or eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's, being coached is a guilt-free way to take a break! Taking time out to choose a goal, be seen, get encouragement and have grown-up conversation is an investment in you and your whole family's well-being.
Moms who choose and work towards goals aren't just happier, but better able to focus on the needs of their children. They know they're focusing on their own needs, too.
I show moms how they can find time (and energy!) to care for themselves, so they end the day feeling happy and accomplished. Want to learn more? Two invitations:
1) Follow me on Instagram and get to know me better.
2) Or, if you're ready, schedule a call so we can talk about how coaching can be a break from mom life that makes you better at it! No hard sell. My heart is to give you the info you need to make a decision if coaching is the right next step for you.
What do you want?
I mean, besides molten chocolate cake and a nap. (Me too.) Think bigger.
What do you want?
Sky's the limit.
I'm guessing this is might be a tough one for you. Especially if you're used to figuring out what your baby wants (to be nursed to sleep, not left in the crib), what your toddler wants (another applesauce pouch), what your kid wants (the toy her sister has), etc, etc, etc...
We are experts at knowing what our kids want and amateurs at knowing what we want.
Before I became a coach myself, a friend led me through a life coaching exercise.
I identified core values. I talked about hopes. Then, she asked me to describe my ideal life 5 years from then.
I drew a blank.
I didn't know how to answer. Like, no clue.
Even though she would have accepted anything I had to say, and even though exactly zero was riding on my answer, I left that question a big ol' blank.
I've worked with enough clients to see that many of us have a hard time pinpointing what, exactly, it is we want. Sometimes it's making a decision about family or work. Sometimes a new block of time opens up for you (thank you, preschool) and you're not sure what to do with it. And honestly, working with a coach can be a daunting commitment because it means that we need to do just that - figure out what we want.
Luckily, you're not alone. Today I want to share 6 ways I've helped my clients figure out what they want, even if they came to me with no clue. It's not a patented process, because every person is different, but I hope that one or two of these will jump out at you - and that you use them to find the clues of what you want next in life.
Before you begin: please don't let this list scare you. Read one or two, bookmark the rest for later. Or skim the list and set a phone reminder to try one tonight. There's no need to do everything here, but maybe ONE of them will be what you need to get going!
6 ways to figure out what you want
1. Take your best guess.
Sometimes the easiest way to come at something is sideways. Don't know exactly? For you head-types, make an informed guess. For you heart-types, go with your gut. Sit with that guess a moment. How does it strike you?
2. Write it out.
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Sit down with a pen and paper and write out whatever comes to mind about the decision at hand. Don't think too hard, just write until the timer goes off. Now read what you've written. Does anything here strike you as untrue? What clues do you see about what you desire?
3. Think back to your childhood loves.
I have a clear memory from kindergarten P.E. class. I walked up to a girl named Jesse who seemed nice and asked, "Will you be my friend?" Fast forward 30 years, and I'm following a call to sacred friendship. I build safe, deep relationships with clients to help them reach their goals. What have you loved since childhood? How does that inform the decision you need to make now?
I took this test in the throes of full-time parenting and loved that it highlighted strengths I could build on in or out of the workforce. The book (affiliate link) describes 34 strengths in detail and gives access to the online test to learn your top five. When you know what you do best, it's much easier to figure out what you want!
5. Multiple choice.
My client (an Enneagram 9) told me that sometimes, when asked what she wants, she's not sure, but if someone lists out some options, she can pick out pretty fast what she does and doesn't want. Ask someone to list some options for you. Notice your reaction. (And don't be surprised if a new idea pops into your head!)
6. Talk it out.
Find someone you trust who has the ability to not interrupt or immediately jump in with their opinion. Ask them if they will listen to you process out loud for 15 minutes, asking only for you to say more about something if it seems important. Check in after 15 minutes. What have you learned?
Which option is standing out to you today?
If you still feel confused about what you want, help is here! Every month, I make time to talk to women just like you to help them figure out what they really want. It might sound selfish, but it's often the first step to embracing who they were made to be and bringing the full impact of their gifts to the world.
The first step is clicking the button below. Book a complimentary, 30 minute intake interview with me to see if we're a good fit to work together.
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