You want to drop my son off at preschool? It's easy. Just follow these steps.
Easy peasy, right? Nothing to it.
Between steps 9 and 10
You might not know this, but as mom, you are the keeper of ONE ZILLION little details that keep family life humming along. Whose socks are whose, whose project is due when, and who is refusing sun-butter and jelly sandwiches for the time being (but crossing your fingers it's just a phase). I salute you! You are doing such a great job of knowing your children's needs, intimately.
If you're left wondering why the heck it's so hard to take better care of yourself, might I gently turn your attention to all the brainspace that is dedicated to your kid(s)? Just imagine, if I have mental instructions for a 17-step-long preschool drop-off, all that YOU carry in your mind for your whole day, for your whole family.
Don't beat yourself up if you haven't gotten to the gym in the last 18 months. . .if you haven't gotten a haircut in a year. . .or if you can't remember the last time you got together with a friend for lunch. There are good reasons for that.
But it doesn't have to stay that way.
I work with clients just like you who are great moms and parents, but who want to turn some of that care and attention to themselves. They know that putting on their oxygen mask first is going to make them feel better and bless everyone in the family. More than just keeping their head above water, they want to be kind to their future selves and make a plan they're excited to start to make time for themselves.
Won't you join me?
Every month, I set aside time for calls with folks just like you who want a do-able, exciting plan to make more space in their lives. My heart is to give you what you need to make a decision about if coaching is right for you. No pressure. Just you, me, and some powerful coaching questions.
Click the button below and fill out the form. You'll get a 30 minute intake interview where you can learn about what coaching is and isn't, share what you'd most like to change in your life, and determine whether we're a good fit to work together.
Can't wait to connect!
I recently reached out to moms of babies to pick their brains about what helps them take care of themselves in this tricky season. I got some great responses! Even if your kids are older, there's a lot to learn here.
#1: Embrace the mindset, "You're only as efficient and effective as you are cared for and well." - Katie, mom of 3 and founder of First Day Doula
Efficiency and effectiveness come not from bouncing back to your pre-pregnancy pace, but from slowing down, lowering your expectations, and putting yourself on the list of people to care for. (See #3 for how-tos.)
Takeaway for the rest of us: Ignoring your own needs only takes you so far. Taking regular breaks will help you get more done with a better attitude.
#2: "Even though my daughter prefers me, and I am the only one that feeds her, she has other capable caregivers in her life. Sneaking away for a couple hours in the evening or between feedings is so nice and baby will be fine with Dad, Grandma, etc. Don't keep all the burden for yourself." - Karelisa, mom of a 5 month old
This is so good. Do you play an essential role in your baby's life? YES. But are you the only, single one who can take care of him/her? NO! Chances are, there are other people in your baby's life who would be glad to give you the chance to take a nap, take a shower, or just stare at the wall for while. Ask them!
Takeaway for the rest of us: Share the work of child-raising. It's good for our kids to learn there are multiple people in their lives who care about them.
#3: "Small, humanizing actions make a huge difference...like mentally asking:
Takeaway for the rest of us: Taking better care of yourself doesn't have to be a full-on, overnight, life makeover. Maybe it starts as simply as filling your water bottle and setting it out for the next day. Baby step after baby step can lead to big things.
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The star of last night's dinner? Frozen wontons from Canton Noodle House.
After living a blessedly commute-free lifestyle, my husband got a new work assignment that has him commuting in and out of the city. It's meant earlier mornings and longer days for both of us. It's been rough.
I keep ending the day thinking how much work it's been and how much I want someone to take care of me, then realizing Greg's probably thinking the same thing. I realized we'd been trying to live life the same way as before, and that if we didn't make some changes we were going to burn out.
It's a work in progress, but I'm trying to make choices that make things easier for my future self. You know, the person that realizes at 4:55 it's almost time for dinner but nothing is ready yet.
Here's what I'm trying, and invite you to try, too:
1) Acknowledge it's a new season.
It's a new phase of life with new blessings and new challenges. (Note to self: re-read last post.) What worked before is not gonna work now. Time for new strategies!
2) Acknowledge you have a finite amount of energy.
Waking an hour earlier to do school drop-offs is not without consequence. Acknowledging that I don't have a limitless supply of energy helps me to look for where I can save energy other places.
3) Notice where you've created self-imposed obligations.
Being on time for every drop-off and pick-up. Cooking from scratch. Making the most cost-effective grocery choices. Not hiring a babysitter unless there's a "really good reason". These are all expectations I've created FOR MYSELF, and now is the time to know ALL of them are flexible!
4) Make choices now that will be a gift to your future self.
We've eaten out a bit more since Greg started commuting. One night we were in the mood for soup noodles and I made the decision to buy some of the restaurant's premade, frozen wontons for a future meal. BAM! Gift to my future self! Identify what stresses you out the most, and make some strategic choices now to alleviate the pressure of those moments.
I'd love to know...
Which of the tips above resonate most for you?
How do you make things easier for your future self?
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