Stingy? Overdoing it? What to do instead

When it comes to treats, do you tend to be stingy or overdo it?

Better Than Before author Gretchen Rubin writes (emphasis mine),

“'Treats' may sound like a self-indulgent, frivolous strategy, but it’s not...When we give ourselves treats, we feel energized, cared for, and contented, which boosts our self-command—and self-command helps us maintain our healthy habits."

After years of reading frugality blogs and denying myself simple pleasures for the sake of saving a buck, I think I've found my sweet spot.

Getting my favorite coffee weekly is something I look forward to days in advance. It's often enough that I don't feel deprived, and rare enough that it feels special.

When I asked on Instagram, I heard from folks on both sides of the spectrum - people who tend to be stingy with themselves, and people who tend to overdo treats.

Here are 3 tips for you, regardless of where you fall on this spectrum!
 

3 Tips to Find Your Treat Sweet Spot
so treating yourself feels good & right

1. Pick a day of the week.
   For my tend-to-be-stingy folks, making treat-getting a weekly ritual is a great reminder to, you know, actually treat yourself. I look forward to Tuesday mornings because I drop our toddler and 8-year old at my parents' and head to my favorite coffeeshop.
   
   For my tend-to-overdo folks, consider making treats special again by designating a day (or days) of the week they happen. Here's a great example from Dinner: A Love Story of making drinking more enjoyable by making it a weekend thing.
   
   
2. Pair it with a chore.
   For my tend-to-be-stingy folks, try treating yourself when doing an errand. I'm not likely to go out of my way to try a new restaurant, but picking up a little extra something at the grocery store or on a drugstore run feels fun AND responsible (my life's aim, lol).
   
   For my tend-to-overdo folks, try pairing your treat-time with doing something less fun that you'll be glad you did later. Love murder shows? Watch 'em while folding laundry. Craving brownies? Text a neighbor that you're bringing some over, then make a batch to split.
   
   
3. Consider conscious consumption.
   For my tend-to-be-stingy folks, tying your treat-buying to your values might help you spend more joyfully. Feel-good purchases could include fair-trade chocolate, a lotion or candle from a BIPOC-owned business, or patronizing a business with a buy-one-give-one model.
   
   ​For my tend-to-overdo folks, conscious consumption might look like using up all of your [fill in the blank] before buying another, adopting a less-but-better mindset with new purchases, or getting pickier about what you drop in your shopping cart.

Bonus deep thought: Knowing you're worthy and capable of handling hard things can help get to the root of some of your deepest tendencies to withhold or overdo.

These ideas are great ones to explore in a one-on-one space like therapy or coaching. (Hint, hint.)

To get help with treating yourself in a feels-good, feels-right way, reach out!

I'd love to hear more about you and see if we're a good fit.

book your intake interview here

​To treats that help you feel energized, well-cared for and content,

Charissa Pomrehn
Self Care Coach
Brave Self Care