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Screw staying hydrated. Feel your feelings.

4/1/2020

10 Comments

 
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[Confession: I started this post sincerely thinking it would be a light one about how I started drinking more water to take care of myself in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.​ LOL. Read on to find out why I couldn't make that the main takeaway!]

Just three weeks ago in Seattle, Washington...
​
Tuesday, our oldest son overheard a teacher say they might be closing school.

Wednesday, the email came: "Schools will be closed  a minimum of 14 calendar days".

Thursday, another update: School would be closed for 6 weeks. At least.

Holy &#%$!

Our world had been turned upside-down.

In a matter of days, I heard left and right of other friends' schools being closed, events being canceled, and whole cities, counties, and states taking drastic measures to slow the spread of Covid-19.

​I pictured my grandma sitting alone in her brown recliner, unable to leave her assisted living home. Was ever I going to see her, healthy, again?

The link lists and homeschooling ideas came pouring into my social media feeds and inbox. Was I really in charge of my kids' education for the forseeable future?

​Then Greg found out his work would need to carry on as usual, but from home - and that a reduced schedule wasn't on the table.

And I pretty much broke down.

I ugly-cried for all that we'd lost.

Over the mind-boggling responsibility of keeping my kids safe in a scary new reality.

Over having the role of "teacher" put upon me when I never wanted to homeschool.

​Over the impossibility of maintaining a calm environment for Greg to put in his 40 hours. 
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I cried for all the times in my life I felt like my needs and dreams had gotten shoved aside to be able to rise to the occasion of whatever was needed of me. 

Have a newborn but need to go to grad school? I'm on it.

Baby waking through the night but you need to sleep in? I'm on it.

Move to a new city but too late in the year to get into a good preschool? I'm on it. 

​I'll do it. I'll take care of it. Who else will if I won't?


"What about ME!?" I wanted to scream. "Don't I matter?"

If you're feeling any of what I felt three weeks ago, know that you're not alone.

We're experiencing grief, on a personal and global level.

Whether you're saddened by not being able to see friends and family, overwhelmed by how the crisis is affecting your community, panicked with not knowing what will happen with your job, or sobered by knowing someone who's lost a loved one, these are important and valid feelings.​

Feel your feelings and tell the people you trust when you're ready.

(I definitely left tearful voice messages, text-messaged up a storm with friends, and talked to Greg after I'd cooled off.) 

We'll dive into more practical tips for taking great care of yourself and your family later.

For now, a big virtual hug from me to you, and full permission to be sad, mad, afraid, or whatever else you may be.

You're human in a weird time, and that's okay. Your brave self care for today can be to feel whatever's coming up for you without judgement and let it run its course.

​We're in this together.

P.S.

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10 Comments
Tiffany Acker
4/1/2020 08:57:38 am

Beautifully said, Charissa. Big virtual hug back to you.

Reply
Ellen Lo Hoffman
4/1/2020 09:18:02 am

Thanks for this Charissa 💜so needed!

Reply
Charissa
4/4/2020 08:48:05 pm

Thanks for taking time to read, Ellen! You know there have been some Big Feels lately. <3

Charissa Pomrehn
4/4/2020 08:47:27 pm

Thank you, Tiffany!! Miss seeing you and your family at school. A big hug back to you.

Reply
Lori Takashima
4/1/2020 11:12:05 am

I resonate with this! Thank you for validating the feelings of many. Sending big hugs!

Reply
Charissa Pomrehn
4/4/2020 08:48:29 pm

Aww, thank you, dear Lori! Hug received here in Seattle!

Reply
Bao
4/4/2020 09:05:40 pm

Wow, yes, I had all of these big feelings and realizations of grief crashing down on me this week (you know how I put the pro in procrastination). Thank you for validating all of these things that we as women and mothers take on. Heavy. Thank you friend for writing this.

Reply
Charissa Pomrehn
4/4/2020 09:33:48 pm

<3 <3 <3
I looked at what I had typed and almost couldn't believe what had come out. Thank you so much for helping me know it is connecting with others! I'm glad to be in the middle of all this with friends like you.

Reply
Nadean
4/4/2020 09:28:08 pm

I’m reading this while caring for our newborn, while my husband studies for medical school, and I’m preschooling because we moved here in the middle of the school year. I can’t even believe how spot this is. I feel seen. Thank you for this beautiful article!

Reply
Charissa Pomrehn
4/4/2020 09:32:12 pm

That's NUTS, Nadean!! I'm so with you - that is some freaking tough stuff. Our grad school years were literally over a decade ago and the fatigue and resentment I felt from that time was back on me like a flash when schools closed. Thank you so much for taking the time to tell me. <3

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