On losing the will to keep going

Something happened last week.

I rolled into bed around 9:30 after getting the kids in bed and couldn't make myself get up...

Not even when our toddler cried out for "mama, mama". 

Not even knowing Greg was in a meeting and that I was on duty for the kids.

Not even the next morning.

Not even with our two year old climbing on me and bringing me all the lip balms (pictured :).

Not even mid-morning.

Not even by 11:00am.

To be honest, it scared me. To suddenly lose the will to do anything was unsettling. I felt unproductive, and ashamed for being unproductive. I was afraid I might feel this way for a long time.

A saving grace? A month ago I'd called it.

Am I clairvoyant? No - I just have a predictable menstrual cycle and use Google Calendar. 😄

​
This calendar reminder I set for myself in November gave me a glimmer of hope that there was a reason I'd lost my will to do anything.

But it wasn't until my period actually started that I felt a sense of relief.

And I got out of bed.
 

​4 Takeaways from the Time I Couldn't Get Out of Bed

1.  PMS is real.
   A few times I year I suddenly lose the will to go on. Remembering that anyone with a period is affected by fluctuations in their hormones helps me have more compassion for myself and loved ones with a cycle.
   
   
2. Calendar reminders are your friend.
   I transfer a lot from my brain into my calendar - bits of information I want to remember but forget otherwise. My period is one of those things.
   
   
3. Friends care.
   I didn't have it in me to reach out to anyone besides Greg when I was feeling so down, but let others know about it afterward. My friends were so understanding and told me I could tell them anytime if I felt like that again.
   
   
4. Biggest, warmest hug if you're feeling like this.
   I'm humbled by how hard last Friday was because it was for such a short amount of time. Some of us are experiencing this or much worse.
   
   Sending you a huge hug and my hope that you get exactly the kind of love, support, and mental health care you need to get through this tough time. You're not alone.

I'm not a medical professional, but do coach with clients with diagnoses of anxiety and seasonal affective disorder to help them feel as good as they can in their current season of life.

We focus on what they DO have control over, figure out what they really want, and break everything down into practical, do-able mini steps.

(For example, a client with seasonal affective disorder worked with me to realize she wanted to seek out warmth and light during the winter. She designed outings and experiences for herself to feel cozy and connected to loved ones during a typically hard time. And of course she was under the care of her doctor while working with me.)

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