How to Avoid Your Monster Self, Step 3

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I see you. You're working hard at becoming the kind of person you want to be. You're Googling, reading articles, and putting in the work. You want to be the best mom you can.  

You know that version of yourself that you swore you'd never become? Yelling, irritated, resentful and mindlessly distracted on your phone? That's your Monster Self. She's the worst version of you.

(And if you've become that monster in the last week or even today, you're in good company. I'm writing this from experience, so no judgement here!)

If you can catch your Monster Self before she truly hulks out, you'll still have bad days. But you'll be able to respond when hard things happen. That monster will be the exception, not the rule.

You can avoid your Monster Self with 3 things.

• ​Step 1: Notice the warning signs
• Step 2: Learn your triggers
• Step 3: Gently course correct

Gently course correct

This week is Step 3: gently course correct.

(If you haven't already, hop on over to Step 1 - Notice your warning signs, or Step 2 - Learn your triggers.)

You can gently course correct by making small adjustments depending on how close your Monster Self is to taking over. Let's break it down!

Your 1-Step Action Plan

Your assignment today is to choose the ONE thing that you MUST do to avoid your Monster Self.
 
Pick just the ONE thing that needs to change most.
 
Not sure what step to take?
 
See which group below you fall into, and take that ONE step to avoid the worst version of yourself.

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If your warning signs are popping up left and right:
Put the ice cream back in the freezer, and make a choice you won't feel bad about later. Consider ONE of the following:

• Cut yourself some slack for the warning sign (losing sense of humor, not brushing teeth, Netflix bingeing, too manyTrader Joe's peanut butter cups). Acknowledge, "I'm human, and I'm stressed."
• Put your legs up the wall (pregnant ladies - check with your doctor), even for 1 minute. Breathe.
• Pick the top 3 things you want to get done today. Give yourself a break on the rest.
• Call a friend or send an SOS text. (I have an ongoing  WhatsApp message thread with two friends. It's one of the first places I turn to when I'm at my breaking point.)
• Go for a walk. Even if it takes forever to get everyone out the door, it's worth it.

Ear protection = necessary some weekends

If your Monster Self is getting triggered by life circumstances:
Make a plan to actively avoid your triggers, those stressful circumstances that put you over the edge. Choose ONE of the following, or one of your own.

• If back-to-back activities have got you stressing, think about which is the biggest pain and drop it.
• If noise is the culprit, grab some earplugs.
• If running late is bringing the Monster alive, start getting ready 15 minutes before you think you need to.
• If a specific event (taking family pictures, daycare drop-off, shopping for Christmas gifts) is triggering you, ask yourself what your expectations are around that event, and if they are realistic. Let go of unrealistic expectations.
• If you didn't get enough sleep, think about one way you could make the day easier for yourself. 

Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo

If your She-Monster has already been unleashed:
​Please don't worry. It happens to the best of us. There's still hope for you!

• Take a deep breath. And then another. (If you pray, consider a 2-word breath prayer.)
• Apologize to your kids if needed. SUCH a good teaching moment for them - and good for your heart, too.
• Give yourself a 5-minute timeout (a gentle, calming timeout). Step outside a moment, cry if you need to, lock yourself in the bathroom. Just get a little space to release all your emotions and regroup.
• Try again. The good news is, there's ALWAYS a second chance. And a third. And a fourth. The goal is growth, not perfection. You've got this, mama.

What you're saying...

You've had a lot to say about avoiding your Monster Self!

On warning signs...
"[My warning sign is ] skipping my own self care! I'm not talking about massages and pedicures here, I'm talking super basic stuff, like washing my face, brushing my teeth, eating, drinking water, taking my meds. This is a sure sign I'm headed for a meltdown/blowup. When I'm too tired, busy and overwhelmed to take care of myself, even though I know neglecting my basic needs is going to make me feel even worse, I'm circling the drain."  - Kaila Rose

On being excited to catch your Monster Self before she blows...
​"I stumbled across your blog just as I felt my Monster Self lurking over my shoulder with a blow horn and list of all the ways she was going to shut fun down forever if my children didn't stop doing all the things that I keep telling them not to do. I am actually excited to take note of the ways in which I notice my She-monster is about to tear some shit up BEFORE she actually tears some shit up :). Thank you for being courageous enough to share your story with us all and giving me more tools to be courageous too :). "  - L.D.

Your turn!

Tell me, what is YOUR 1-Step Action Plan for avoiding your Monster Self?

How will that one step help you be who you want to be?

Comment below - I read every one and want to cheer you on in your work!

[Related: How to Avoid Your Monster Self, Step 1 and Step 2]