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9 Things I've Said 'No' to This Christmas

12/13/2017

6 Comments

 
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Joanna Kosinska via Unsplash
Let's think about this time of year.

​Kid gifts. Teacher gifts. Gifts for your spouse. Gifts for your family. Gifts for your in-laws. Christmas cards. Christmas tree. Christmas d
ecorations. Family traditions. Snacks for the class party. Cookies for the neighbors. Potluck dish for Christmas dinner. ​Family photos. Visiting Santa. Elf on the Shelf. Stocking stuffers. Wreaths. Holiday travel. Amazon deals. USPS mailing times.

​Feeling overwhelmed yet?


The options for what we could do, see, eat, and buy this season are endless. And yet, we are finite beings. One of my top goals for the Advent season is to stay peaceful amidst the potential to get overwhelmed.

And to do that, I've said no to a lot of things - a lot of good and sometimes very meaningful things! - to be able to say a wholehearted YES to a few.

Here's what I've said 'no' to...

  1. Being in the church choir for our Candlelight service
  2. Homemade gift wrap (Did you know I used to write a blog about eco-friendly gift wrapping? The drugstore gift wrap I bought yesterday would have been sacrilege to my former self.)
  3. Homemade gift tags (See above. Sacrilege!)
  4. Decorating the whole house
  5. Stringing popcorn for the tree
  6. Advent readings
  7. Advent devotionals
  8. ​Stressing over finding the "perfect" gift 
  9. A neighborhood caroling party that sounded super cool​

One caveat

Does this mean I will NEVER sing in the church choir? Have I decided to NEVER make my own gift wrap or attend a neighborhood party, because they're categorically a waste of energy? Nope. It just means that, this year, these were some things I chose not to do in order to more joyfully do the things I said YES to.

What I said YES to...

Honestly, it's a pretty short list.
  1. Thanking my kids' teachers and the administrators at their school. I've been more intentional about building relationships at school and want to be sure to thank these staff for their hard work with a little treat and words of appreciation.
  2. Learning and listening to carols. I love Christmas carols, and one regret I had last year was that my kids didn't know them well enough to really enjoy them. As a Christian, I can feel a lot of pressure to make sure my kids know the "reason for the season". For us, learning a carol and listening to more of them is a joyful way to engage with what makes this time special for us.
  3. Filtering my gift-giving through the criteria of - "What will make them feel known?" This idea is from The Lazy Genius Podcast and it's been so helpful. There's no such thing as the "perfect gift". It doesn't have to be "fancy enough", the "best" of its kind, or a killer deal. It just has to make the recipient feel known.

What have you said 'no' to this season?

How has it helped you say an enthusiastic "YES!" to more important things?

Finally, I know my readers are coming from different spiritual backgrounds. I want you to know that, while my faith is an integral part of my life, I totally get that it may look different for you. The good news is that saying 'no' to be able to say an enthusiastic 'YES!' can apply to all kinds of things in life. I'd love to know what you are learning, whether in the context of Christmas or not.

Let's say 'no' so that our 'yeses' are wholehearted and joyful this season. Leave a comment with your own 'nos' and 'yeses' - I read each and every one!
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6 Comments
Carrie L.
12/13/2017 01:49:19 pm

I said "no" to making and gifting baked goods to a group of friends we gather with every December. While normally fun, this year the idea of selecting recipes, shopping, baking, and wrapping sounded more burdensome than festive and enjoyable. So, I went to my favorite gourmet popcorn shop and bought the six families bags of popcorn. The money I paid was well worth the time and energy I saved to be able to say a wholehearted "yes!" to something else.

Reply
Charissa
12/14/2017 09:49:02 am

Ah, Carrie, I love it! I like that you were able to see that the baking is normally fun, but just seemed burdensome this year. It's not a black-and-white thing, but a matter of taking a moment to check in with yourself to see what's going to get your wholehearted YES this season.

And the popcorn sounds delicious! Thank you so much for sharing!

Reply
Kristina
12/14/2017 12:36:05 am

I started my "No" at Thanksgiving, when I decided we would forgo the stress of getting the bird on the table, and trying to figure out who we should spend the day with, by taking a lovely journey to Leavenworth. Having grown up in Germany, the Bavarian-themed town has just enough genuine German-ness for me to redeem it from its' own kitschiness. Best part? Real, and really GOOD, German food for Thanksgiving dinner!!! Schnitzel with noodles, anyone?

Reply
Charissa
12/14/2017 09:51:09 am

Ah HA! You've been doing this "say no to say yes" thing even before the Christmas season - love it, Kristina! I can just imagine you enjoying connecting to your roots in Leavenworth. How fun to have the freedom to say 'no' to a turkey dinner and a 'YES!' to schnitzel and noodles. :)

Reply
Jessica J
12/16/2017 10:35:34 am

Just this morning, a week from Christmas, I woke up with a headache and dreading the list of to dos for today. I keep seeing all the alluring sales and ads urging me to buy pointless gifts and feeling stressed by the rampant consumerism.

So I am saying NO to baking cookies for the cookie sale but YES to going to a service focused on carols and remembering Jesus tonight. I've been kicking myself for not doing advent readings/devotionals regularly so I was pleasantly shocked that they were on your list. Thanks for reminding me that NO is an OK response sometimes.

Reply
Charissa
12/20/2017 08:05:49 pm

Jessica, thank you so much for sharing. The rampant consumerism of the season is stressful! I chatted with a librarian about how Christmas isn't even a big deal for her, but even then it can be a busy/frenzied time.

I hope you had a wonderful time singing carols and remembering Jesus at the service you said YES to!

And no more kicking yourself over Advent readings! One year it might just be the thing that's a big, fat YES. Totally fine if it's not this time. :)

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