Those who know me well know I'm a planner. I use Google Calendar daily (sometimes down to the 15-minute mark), love knowing the plan for the day, and am a classic 'J' on the Myers-Briggs personality test.
Our kids are now 5 and 9, and while I've never had a definite, "Our family is complete," moment, my husband and I had talked it over and felt done with having kids.
Imagine my shock this past December when my cycle (also very predictable) was a day late...then two days late...then 3, 4, 5, 6 days late. I was sure it was just around the corner. I was irritable and definitely had a new zit forming. PMS, right? But after a week of waiting, I asked Greg to buy a pregnancy test...
and the rest is history.
Well, maybe not so smooth as that.
I felt All The Feelings. Shock, dismay, disbelief, derailed.
Every vision I'd had for myself and my family for the next years - altered.
Every long term hope for my coaching business - changed.
All the peace I'd made with my postpartum, mid-30s body - disrupted.
It's not just that I thought I was done having kids. I'd already gone through the mourning process over my "baby" (our 5 year old) growing up. I made peace with his last year of preschool. I prepared to send him to kindergarten. I sorted through all the toddler clothes and baby gear and - finally - began to donate them. No more babies. It was gonna be okay.
So what now?
Though it's taken many weeks and a lot of processing, I am able to see the invitations God might have for me in this season.
In my planner-ly-ness, I sense an invitation to be open to adventure.
In my desire to control, I sense an invitation to let go and loosen up.
In my need to have others see me as responsible and "normal", I sense an invitation to take comfort in the fact that there's no one "right" way to make a family.
I can't convey what a comfort it's been to get through 1st trimester and start sharing our news. I forgot how isolating it is to carry such a huge secret, be sick to your stomach, feel out of control of your own body and yet not have your closest community know what you're going through.
And that includes you, Brave Self Care community! I'm excited to share this journey with you. So glad you know.
Side note: I'm normally a sweet tooth but have had all kinds of savory cravings over the past couple of months, including egg salad, salsa and eggs (and turkey, apparently in the mood for protein!), furikake popcorn and tacos.
My appetite is not the only thing undergoing major change. My energy levels, my priorities, my visions for the future are all in flux. Stay tuned for more tips on how to care for yourself in the midst of transition!
Final note: Because baby is due mid-August, THIS is the time to work with me! I'm focusing NOW on onboarding new clients so they get my best over the next four months before baby arrives. After Friday I'll have room for one or two more clients. Could that be you??
You're a good candidate if:
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out the contact form if that describes you. We'll set up a time to talk to give you the information you need to decide if being coached is the next right step for you. And there's no pressure! Sometimes this conversation plants important seeds for the future.
With love from my family to yours,