To all the lunch-packers. Laundry-folders. Carpool drivers. Goodnight kiss-givers. To all the tear-wipers. Summer camp finders. Memory makers. To all the parents who’ve shown up at work with someone else’s snot on their shirts. To all the stay-at-home moms who cringe at the question “So, what do you do?”. To all the single parents holding down the fort at work and home. I see you. And I'm here to help you become the kind of parent (and person) you've always wanted to be. I can help you:
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This post was originally sent as a newsletter to Brave Self Care readers in March 2021 (Not on the list? What are you waiting for? Click for my free guide and a weekly dose of loving, relatable encouragement.) I almost didn't send this. As a Japanese American, I've been emotionally occupied with this week's shootings in Atlanta, Georgia. Eight people killed, six of them women of Asian descent. ::Shudder:: What, if anything, could I say in the face of such ugliness? This week has been a strange mix of "feeling and not-feeling", as my friend put so well. Feeling numb and not wanting to expose myself to the pain of thinking about what happened. Feeling horrified by how a culture of anti-Asian racism has been fanned into violent, audacious flame. Feeling guilty that my privileges (economic advantage; not having an Asian accent or last name; working from home) allow me to be less exposed to daily racism that others have no choice but to face. Feeling pressure to say something insightful, powerful or sympathy-inducing. Feeling vulnerable and small, like anyone could do anything to me at any time, and it could be explained away as someone having a "really bad day". (Seriously, WTF.) I almost didn't write anything today, but I'm showing up to let you know what I'm thinking and feeling. If you're Asian or Asian American, please give yourself grace. You can feel numb, you can feel the biggest feelings in the world, or anything in between. Your best thoughts and words might be sparked from this tragedy, or you might be completely without words, or anything in between. Our internalized racism would have us stuff our feelings and feel ashamed to take up space. (Thanks to my friend Michelle for articulating this.) You can take up space. It's okay. Look for the people who are holding space for you. If you're not Asian or Asian American, and particularly if you're white, please take a few minutes to read this bystander intervention training and consider what you can commit to doing if you witness a racist incident. Finally, I found these posts on Instagram comforting and cathartic. Take a look if you'd like (if you're viewing on a browser, click on the right hand of the slides to flip through.) >> Artist & author Gene Luen Yang: On #AsiansAreHuman << >> Illustrator Ruth Chan: "It could be me next" << >> Preacher & trainer Erna Kim Hackett: A moment for my Asian American sisters << With a virtual hug, Tuesday was packed to the gills. My dad wasn't able to do his usual babysitting time and the day was full of coaching sessions, a business accountability group I wanted to be present for, and managing the older kids' online learning. I happened to be up early and our 2 year old was occupied for the moment. In long johns and a sweatshirt, I cleared a spot on the living room floor for my trusty yoga mat. I pushed away a couple dozen Hot Wheels 🚗, a racetrack 🚙, paperbacks 📖, laundry (folded and unfolded) 👕👖, scattered game pieces 🚂 and a freaking ottoman. 🪑 I pulled up Yoga With Adriene on the tablet. And, as Adriene always says, I found what felt good. I was surrounded by crap and interrupted at the end by a 2 year old laying on top of me (WHY do they always want to do this?!), but I did it. [Here's a video of my yoga essential for moms if you want to see.] Friend, the perfect time for self care will almost NEVER just ~happen~.
A moment for yourself is still worth making time for, even in the middle of all your crap. :) If you're struggling to get through the day and need some practical ideas for making time for yourself, I made something just for you. ⚡️3 Self Care Hacks to Make Everyday Life Feel Amazing⚡️ will help you drink your coffee while it's hot and do things you love, even if you have zero childcare or only a few minutes to spare. Click below to get your guide and receive my weekly email tips, encouragement, and real life stories: (Note: If you're already subscribed to the Brave Self Care newsletter, you should already have access to my self care guide for moms and parents. If you can't find it, shoot me an email at charissa@braveselfcare.com and I'd be happy to re-send it!) |
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