It was my first coaching session with a mom who'd been following my work for years.
She'd picked a mom coaching package and we were both excited to finally begin in earnest. She'd opted to meet by phone for a break from constantly being on camera for work meetings. We were going through her Welcome Packet and had just gotten to a juicy part, sharing life stories, when I heard someone struggling to open my bedroom door. Before I knew it a damp 2 year old, smelling like shampoo, was by my side, smiling. "Hang on, a naked 2 year old just walked in," I told my client. One of the delightful things about being a life coach for moms and parents in a similar life stage is that THEY GET IT - and I GET THEM.
Real talk: Many coaches have the same skills that I have. But who I am, and being in the trenches right alongside you makes me different. If you've been looking for a way to do more than just get through the day, I'm here for you. And I'll do my best to keep our calls free of naked toddlers. My clients learn how to
If that sounds like what you need, hit the blue button and let's get started!
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Plan your own personal retreat. Doggy companion optional. If you haven't already, you might want to read my last newsletter all about my recent personal retreat. Now, let's talk about you! Just imagine... Waking up on your own - no one in your face bugging you to get up, no siblings bursting into the room screaming, no alarms telling you it's time to get someone ready for school. Eating whatever you want - and not having to share. (Cue angels singing.) Peace and quiet. Space to finally (FINALLY) think. If that sounds too good to be true, read on for how to make this happen for yourself. 4 Tips for Planning Your Own Personal Retreat
1. Start by listening to what you want. When I got quiet, I realized I was itchy - terribly, desperately itchy - for time alone. Something was going to happen if I didn't get some solitude, and it wasn't gonna be pretty. Maybe you realize there's something else that arises instead - maybe you want time with friends, time to write, time to work on a project in a focused way. That's great. Use that primary "want" to build your time away. Seem daunting? Check out these 6 ways to figure out what you want. 2. Be intentional about your retreat location. A hotel might give you the anonymity and access to cool cafes you crave. An AirBnB could let you check out a new town with the comfort of being able to make yourself a grilled cheese at 10:00pm. A friend or family member's home might be cost-conscious and cozy. I ended up house- and dog-sitting for my aunt and uncle while they were out of town. While this came with a few responsibilities, I loved being able to browse their book collection and drink their tea. If an overnight trip isn't in the cards, is there a friend's home, quiet corner of the library, or park that could be your sanctuary for a shorter time? 3. Make a 'menu'. A wise friend told me that her worst retreats were ones where she
Here are some of the things that were on my menu. Very thankful for my peer coach for working with my to build this list!
4. Give yourself permission to sometimes feel scattered, restless, or uncomfortable. If you're like me and most folks reading this, time alone to do whatever you want - even though you've been dreaming about it for months - might actually feel really weird. Your brain might go in a bunch of directions. Should I do this first? What about this? Or what about this? I've got to make the most of this! Take the pressure off yourself to know how to "do" a personal retreat perfectly. How could you know!? If you feel restless or clumsy, know that you're in a process of learning how to attend to your own needs after a long slog of attending to others' It's okay. You're okay. Take a look at your menu and just pick one next thing. I'd love to know: Would you ever take a personal retreat? And is there any way I can encourage you to do it?? Comment below and tell me! I'd love to cheer you on, truly. To learning to attend to your needs, I'm an introvert (albeit a social one), and over the course of the pandemic I could feel my soul slowly shriveling like a prune because I was constantly. Around. People. MY GOD, was I desperate for some time alone. While writing about Mother's Day disappointment last month, I wondered, what did I really want? I'd heard of other people taking personal retreats but never considered myself "that" kind of person. I thought it might be something I ~might~ be able to do in the summer. But when I got quiet and really listened to what I wanted, I wanted time alone, like, yesterday. I'll save the details of how we pulled it off (see my 4 tips for planning your own retreat HERE), but here are few photos, if you'd like to see... My aunt and uncle let me stay at their house in West Seattle while they were away. I dog-sat for the first time and helped myself to my aunt's DELICIOUS beet-and-mint salad and homemade granola. (Probably not meant to be paired, but - YOLO.) I hit the thrift store! Didn't find anything for myself but gained an appreciation for how tricky it is to find good shorts. Pair #2 gave me phantom curves and pair #3 was so short and wide my backside was - ahem - very well ventilated. I was close to beautiful Lincoln Park and walked there multiple times a day. My amazing friend gave me all the components to make a salt scrub and scented bath from the book Black Futures. I adapted the instructions on how to make a "self-compassion bath" and took two decadent soaks. Finally, I had a transcendent Korean fried chicken experience thanks to Bok a Bok. The thigh was good but the fish sauce caramel wings were OMG-THESE-ARE-AMAZING good. Throughout all this, I sometimes felt scattered and disoriented ("wait, there's no one else to think about today? Just me?"). I stayed up later than I meant to. I sometimes tried to pack more in than could fit, or got anxious about trying to figure out what it was that I wanted at any given moment. But overall it felt SO GOOD, SO RIGHT. I'd recommend it to anyone who is curious to try! Would you ever take a personal retreat? Hit 'Comments' below and let me know - curious if I'm the only one this appeals to. To your own brave self care - wherever that takes you! |
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