How to avoid disappointment this Mother's Day

A cheesecake I made for myself last Mother's Day

Ah, Mother's Day.

A day for breakfast in bed, being pampered by your family and not having to lift a finger after being resident meal-planner, kitchen-sweeper, diaper-changer, and tantrum-soother the other 364 days of the year.
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But what if Mother's Day hasn't actually looked like that for you?

Ever feel angsty, disappointed or even resentful about Mother's Day - a day meant for you?

You're not alone.

It's a tall order for anyone to create the ideal day off for you.

Maybe you're solo-parenting and there's no one else to hand the kids off to. Maybe you didn't communicate your expectations to your family. Maybe you have a two-mom household and there's no one to do the pampering. Or maybe you don't even know what you want for Mother's Day.

The reality is there's lots of room for disappointment.

I remember stressing out about getting my family to a potluck on time to honor my grandma for Mother's Day and thinking, "Wait, why did I cook the potluck dish??"

Luckily, Charissa of the past had some words of wisdom for present-day Charissa, and maybe for you, too.

I got an email titled "Notes to self about Mother's Day  <3" in my inbox. It was from me, a year ago. 

This is what it said:

Hi Charissa dear -

Here are some things that made Mother's Day this year enjoyable:

• Scheduling a time to pull out cards for Mom and Deb [my MIL]
• Setting a time limit to write Mom's and Momo's [my grandma] cards
  [I tend to overthink card-writing, and setting a timer helps me get over myself and just let the words flow!]
• Spreading out the celebrations, and not expecting to be celebrated during 'someone else's' event...so taking mom to brunch on Sat, enjoying Momo's Chinese dinner on Sun
• Lowering expectations for self
• I enjoyed baking a cheesecake and eating it the day after  :)

Maybe there's some wisdom for you here, too?
 
Consider taking a moment today to...

• Write something for a mom or grandma in your life
• Think about how Mother's Day can be a celebration over a few days
• Lower your expectations about what the day will look like
• Name what small thing would actually make it feel good for you
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It might mean you feel a lot better come Sunday.

I see you, mama. Lots of love to you this week.

P.S. Want more self care wisdom to make mom life feel less fraught and more fulfilling? Join 400+ readers on my email list for my best tips, real-life stories, and encouragement. Bonus: I'll send you my free self care hacks workbook, too.

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