Coaching the lovely Eleshia Harris
30 days ago, I had no idea I'd be where I am today.
I was frozen, I was scared. I didn't think I had anything to add to the discussion on race.
I felt ashamed I hadn't shown up as an advocate for Black lives sooner.
But something changed.
(What exactly? Tell you below!)
As of yesterday, I've gotten to coach 6 Black moms on the house to help them make time for themselves, do things they love, and handle hard things with confidence.
These coaching sessions have been amazing - my clients called in from greater Seattle, Northern California, and the U.K.!
With my support they:
One mom told me, "I felt very comfortable talking to you, comfortable enough to say how I really was feeling. Being able to be transparent and hearing myself talk out loud is good."
As word spread that these sessions booked full, I started to get offers from followers to send me money to sponsor even more sessions for Black moms. (Thank you, Katie Hager, for making yesterday's session possible!)
Please celebrate with me!
If I can go from being frozen and ashamed to taking concrete steps toward caring for Black lives, I know you can too.
If the moms I coached can go from feeling overwhelmed to knowing what next step to take to feel calm, I know you can too.
If you want to drink your coffee while it's hot and feel like yourself again, I'm here to work with you when you're ready.
Thank you for making this amazing community what it is. It's an honor to serve you!
To becoming the kind of mom (and person) you want to be,
The face of someone who's gonna mess up
Scared to try because you might mess up?
I know the feeling.
Two weeks ago I took a deep breath and admitted I haven't taken care to consider race and racism as it relates to self care and my business.
Talking about the murders of innocent Black lives just didn't "go" with my calming, encouraging public persona.
As I've finally started talking about undoing anti-Black racism, the voice in my head has cut me no slack.
Dude. My freaking inner critic! (Any other Enneagram 1s out there?)
Luckily, being a self care coach means that I've learned that being gentle with myself is one of the best ways to create lasting change.
Being hard on myself leads to judgement...which leads to shame...which leads to wanting to hide and never try again.
Being gentle with myself gives me permission to be human, to not get it right on the first try, to admit where I have used my privilege to choose out of hard conversations about race.
If you've been feeling scared to try, judging yourself for messing up, or hard on yourself regarding your journey into standing up for racial justice, you'll want to see this.
I came across these freeing words by anti-bias trainer Leesa Renée Hall, who says it much better than I can.
Click the image below to read her thoughts on messing up.
Do you have the courage to stumble?
I hope so.
Let's stumble bravely together.
At the start of the pandemic I was feeling totally overwhelmed by the weight of school closing and losing childcare. My friend Zeinab came over with a delicious salmon lunch she made just for us and her favorite Starbucks order. Prime example of how moms SHOW UP for each other!
In this unprecedented time of collective reckoning with anti-Black racism, it can be hard to know what to do.
I mentioned in an earlier post that when another mom's in need, you're there with a casserole.
Let's rally that generous energy to care for the Black folks in our lives.
My college roommate posted on Facebook:
"Today I'm feeling the weight of the collective black sorrow all through my body. Black people are not okay right now."
There is no easy fix for this, but we can at least show up in ways we know how to show love.
- Send money for coffee, leave flowers on the doorstep, drop off a meal or do any of the loving things you'd do for a mom with a newborn in survival mode.
- Take a risk in trying something new in the context of the relationship.
- Preface your gift with a long preamble about how guilty you feel, how overwhelmed you are, or how exhausting current events have been for you. It's totally fine to feel these things. Process them with someone else. (See Ring Theory for why.)
- Make your act of service something so complicated it adds to the stress in their life.
Your turn to play!
What ONE thing you can do to show care for a Black friend?
Take a moment and comment below! I'll be cheering you on in doing what you CAN, not what you can't.
To taking one step at a time,
Self Care Coach for moms
Brave Self Care
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