A friend shared this question with me years ago and I've never forgotten it:
Where do you feel rich?
"Where do I feel rich?" I wondered, "Wow, I've never thought of that before."
(Coaching is founded on powerful questions, and this is a great example!)
Right now I'm staring, deer-in-the-headlights style, at the end of the school year, my bedtimes have crept way too late, and I'm mourning the end of being mom to a preschooler.
But even in this place of deficit, there is a place where I feel undeniably rich.
We have two ridiculously productive rose bushes that yield enough flowers for us, teacher thank-you gifts, graduation bouquets, and more. With the most basic maintenance, they produce dozens of florist-quality, Barbie-pink blooms, year after year. With a quick trip to the yard with scissors, I can make someone's day. We are rich.
Our brains are hardwired to dwell on the negative (more on negativity bias here). Particularly in motherhood, there is often the feeling of lack (of time, sleep, money, support, patience, etc). And yet, in my faith tradition, I'm reminded:
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." (Psalm 23)
Even in the times we feel most poor, there is abundance, somewhere, to be found.
I asked other moms where they feel rich and got some great answers. Lindsey, mom of one, said, "In friendships. I'm keenly aware right now of how many loving friends I have checking on me through the messiness of life. I am grateful."
Erin, mom of one, wrote, "I've been thinking about it all week! 1) Access to parks and nature even if it requires a little effort. 2) Amazing and affordable childcare that my son actually likes going to. 3) My own creativity and problem solving resources!"
Sarah A., mom of two, replied, "I feel rich when I can open up our home and experience the blessing of living life in community." Love that.
Your turn to play!
It's easy to focus on where we feel poor. But where do you feel rich??
You all have been asking me some great questions during the consult calls I make time for each week! Today I'd like to share the answer to one of the most frequently asked questions:
What's the difference between coaching and counseling?
Here are some illustrations that have helped me and proven true in my experiences of coaching and counseling. Please keep in mind that these descriptions highlight general differences.
Life coaching and counseling are similar in that they both involve a helpful relationship with a person to support your wellness and growth. They are both rooted in listening and question asking, giving you space to process and develop new insights.
But, there are a few key differences...
In the driver's seat
Imagine sitting in the driver's seat of a car. Counseling is like looking into the rearview mirror. It can help answer the question, "Where have I been that has led me to where I am today?" It focuses on how the past (family history, relationships, diagnoses) has led you to the present.
Coaching is like looking out the front windshield at your destination. It can help answer the question, "Where do I want to be, and how am I going to get there?" It focuses on the future - where you want to be in a given amount of time - and what route might best get you to where you want to be.
Climbing the mountain
Imagine you want to climb a mountain, but you know you need some help.
If you have shin splints, a broken bone, or are otherwise physically unwell, you'd want the help of a doctor. A doctor can help your body heal and regain a baseline level of health before you take on additional challenges.
If you're in decent health already, you might want the help of a sherpa. A sherpa, or mountain guide, can help you find the best path up, navigate obstacles, and stay motivated on the journey.
Similarly, a counselor or therapist can help you:
While a coach can help you:
Who is the expert?
Julie Eickman, career coach and my former coaching trainer, adds this: "With coaching, the client is the expert. Their goals, desires, dreams, and intuition all take priority. Coaches see clients as whole, capable, and creative. In counseling, the therapist is the expert who offers solutions, perspective, and diagnosis."
Any other questions I can answer?
Shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd love to help!
Walking as a revolutionary act of self-care
"When black women walk, things change."
Don't treat yourself. Take care of yourself. (via)
To My Many Mothers, Issei and Nisei
Poetry by my cousin, Mia Ayumi Malhotra
"My highest ambition is to be what I already am."
Confessions of a Guilty Mom: PTA Edition
"We can only do it all when we choose what our all is"
How I Stay Productive as a Work-From-Home Mom
This new app is 'Tinder for mom friends' (via my aunt - thanks, aJoyce!)
Read anything worth sharing lately? I'd love to hear!